Sorry, I meant Beetles. Easy mistake to make.

So, the other day, I went off the beaten track on my regular walk, and I saw a plastic bottle. In my ongoing quest for Sainthood I did my usual thing of going to pick it up, in order to remove it from the pristine forest, whilst calling down hell and damnation on whoever saw fit to drop it there in the first place.

On close inspection the bottle turned out to be  Bath Creme - Peach - by Boots. You’ll have heard that Wild Bathing has become a thing recently, so that explains that, I suppose. Although it was a good way from the loch.

On closer inspection, I noticed a couple of beetles around the rim of that bottle (Bath Creme - Peach - by Boots). I couldn’t tell you what kind of beetles they were, but they had a beautiful blue sheen. They also appeared to be dead.

I picked up the bottle (Bath Creme - Peach - by Boots)and gave it a little shake to remove the two beetles. At which point a few more popped out. I kept on shaking, and more and more beetles, the exact same kind, kept popping out, until there was quite a pile of them on the ground in front of me. The whole bottle had been full of the things. One or two were actually still alive and had started crawling.

It was a weirder experience than it probably even sounds.

And my only explanation is that some of this particular beetle’s pheromones had been used in the production of the Bath Creme - Peach - by Boots. And the discarded bottle had attracted this mass of crazy love sick (presumably male) beetles who then became a lot sicker than they had bargained before.

Quite sad really.

And the moral of the story:

Perhaps consider The Beetles when you next feel the urge to smell differently on a hillside forest. Go Au Naturel or take that bloody plastic bottle home with you.

And as a reward for staying till the end, here are some very attractive musical pheromones -Strawberry - for your listening pleasure.

Be careful now.