Freddie

Freddie sounds like a confused kind of a song even to my ears.

I know what I was trying to do. And if it sounds like a confused song to you too, it also happens to be one about a confusing subject.

It was my attempt, a little before it became the political and culture hot potato that it has since become, or at least before I was aware of that happening, to understand what it might be like to be born as a woman trapped inside a mans body. Or vice versa.

Yep, the T word. Transgender.

Now, for the record, I’m firmly of the opinion, like pretty much everybody else, that this issue has been, and is being, dangerously abused to make the lives of vulnerable children in particular and many women too, potentially more dangerous, damaging and frightening, than they should ever have been. It has also been used to destroy the lives of some of those who have stood up and simply voiced their genuine and compassionate concerns about it. People like J.K. Rowling. I’m definitely on her side, not the side of the thought police.

Having said all that, and in the midst of this maelstrom of uproar, there are still people who grow up with a body, and body parts, that don’t seem to represent who they are. It can be hard enough, even in a relatively sympathetic western society, to grow up gay. The gender dysmorphia (and it is a thing, even with the above mentioned abuse) adds extra layers of difficulty. And, strangely, despite the supposed “support” from a minority of powerful and influential “influencers”, probably even more difficult now for many of the “supported”.

Growing up is hard for everybody in some way. Finding out who we are is hard. Whether that be Man, Woman, or A.N.Other. I’m all for giving myself and everybody else the benefit of any doubt. And also adding a touch of kindness and compassion where possible.

And that’s about as far as I’ve got with all of this. It’s all become very complicated and divisive. It would be nice to think that in a few years this issue will look like a storm in a teacup. And that as a society we will be dealing with individual difference in a more compassionate way, while still upholding the rights of free and open speech, without which we can never reach satisfactory outcomes.

Having brought up five of my own children and five long term foster children (not that that makes me an expert!) I also most definitely think that any life changing decisions our children make should be put on hold till they and their bodies have grown up to adulthood.

Nothing can fundamentally change who each of us are in any given moment. That should be the starting point for any relationship with ourselves and with each other.