The exercise bike gazed out of the window, as she watched yet another Real Bike glide past on the street beyond the front garden. The monitor on her handlebars blinked sadly. How wonderful it must be to breathe fresh air and to see the world outside of these same four walls.

But most of all, how wonderful it would be, simply to be used.

Her only purpose in life seemed to be as some kind of modern art - an ironic commentary on the cancerous condition of consumerism perhaps. And occasionally she was A Tea-Towel Drying Stand.

Being able to see the world outside but not be part of it was far worse, it turned out, than being locked into the sweaty, windowless gym where she had once resided, before being ruthlessly replaced by a newer model and sold off on ebay.

And though, at the time, it had been exciting to move from there to her new home in Suburbia, the excitement had not lasted long. For her or for her new owner.

And now she lay abandoned.

Yes, how wonderful it would be, simply To Be Used.