What Did Change?

So What Did Change?

Why do I play a song, for instance, with freedom and reasonably good technique when I’m alone in my room singing to the furniture, but start getting various degrees of anxiety and twitch when even one person is listening.

I know it doesn’t have to happen like that. I’ve had moments, even gigs, when it almost doesn’t. In those instances, I get into the right headspace. And getting into the right headspace always involves accepting the headspace I’m actually in right now. Even the bad space.

The fact that I feel my heart beat increasing in anticipation of “Me” being watched? Let it. Notice it. Feel it fully. Like every feeling ever, it doesn’t define me. It’s literally a few neurons acting up in my head because of millions of years of evolution.

And it’s not “Me”. I didn’t do that. I’m literally not responsible for it.

The good news is that our brains are malleable. It’s patterns can change. It can learn new patterns. This is the current science, but it’s also our experience if we think about it.

For now though, at this moment in this sentence, THIS is what it is putting out there. And until I accept what it’s doing now, I tend to find that what’s it doing now becomes what I’m attached to. Which is how the old patterns continue.

So I accept what it’s doing and watch it change again. Because, unlike Me, my consciousness, likes to be watched and given its due attention.

And it likes to change.



Discover Fee Letting The Clouds Drift On By