Sunken Costs

Seth Godin, a daily blogger who I’ve followed for a long while now, talks about ignoring the “Sunken Costs”.

The thought is that the money and effort we spent on doing something yesterday, should not have a bearing on the decisions we make about tomorrow.

For instance, I could spend a lot of time training to become a lawyer. But at some point along the way, maybe a few years into doing the job, I realise that I’m not cut out for it. It’s not making me happy and I’m not contributing as much as I think I could elsewhere.

But….I had put so much effort in! I committed so much! It cost me time and energy!

To walk away would be such a waste, surely?

It shouldn’t matter. There is no “lost time”. Because everything we do is a learning process and can feed, in all kinds of obvious or obscure ways, into how we approach the next thing. Into doing tomorrow better.

As long as we are brave enough, sometimes, to just let go, when something has run its course.

It’s a hard lesson to learn.

They Don’t Care

Charisma. Some folk really have it.

That quality which causes people to listen and pay attention.

And I don’t know if charisma is something that can be developed, but it’s certainly something that would come in useful to anyone who is performing in some capacity.

So here is the main thing I’ve noticed about people who do have it:

They don’t care.

They don’t care if you’re watching or paying attention.
They don’t care if people don’t like what they’re saying or doing.
They don’t care if anyone is following them.

Sometimes they even actively go out of the way to put people off giving them attention. And yet, the opposite occurs.

We do listen. We do pay attention. We do follow.

This is no technique. It’s an attitude.

And for those of us who have grown up or developed fears and concerns about what people think of us, it is not something that comes very easily.

It’s a battle to be won in the playground of our own minds.

It’s also an act of kindness to ourselves.

And one of humility too.

We are small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

And we can only ever learn to control our own thoughts.

Never, what other people think about us.

Stripped Back

There are some spectacular, beautiful, dynamic soundscapes that can be created with an array of instruments, and/or just a computer for company. And because of that it is understandable why a lot of modern songwriting happens in the studio.

But to this ageing songwriter, there is still nothing quite like a song stripped back to voice and acoustic guitar.

How To Avoid Writing A Hit

In my opinion; perhaps; in some situations.

These are words we (most of us) use in conversation and writing (I use them quite a lot) to soften what we say.

It’s a way of avoiding being or sounding dictatorial about what or what might not be true. It’s a way of allowing the conversation to continue.

A friend once said though, in regard to songwriting, something like this: I don’t want to hear a song that tells me: “i think I like you” but rather “You are everything to me!”.

I’ve come to mainly disagree with that idea. Or rather, I think that it does make sense in the context, perhaps, of writing pop songs for teens who’s hormones are screaming, and for whom everything is black and white. That was the market for whom the massive pop market industry was primarily developed..

But most of us are adults.

The challenge, I think, is to find a way to write songs that impact our emotions at a very deep level, while addressing the multitude of nuances and less digestible truths of the actual love and lives that we experience in the real world.

Which is possibly why I’ve never had a hit.


ps. In reality there are plenty of songs that have managed to achieve that goal, and when I think about it, they are often some of my favourites. Here’s one. Why not mention some others in the comments?

Make The Difference

More often than not a new song reminds us of an old song. Like a walk in an unfamiliar woodland, it stirs similar emotions to the better known haunts.

Mostly we don’t want or need something vastly different from the usual menu. Familiarity is our safe place. Comfort is good. We crave it.

But we do need something to be different. Not just the same old record on repeat. Those differences are what lift us out of the mundane.

And somebody needs to make them.

It could be you.

Gone In Sixty Seconds

And breathe.

That catastrophe in which the whole world is laughing at you because you messed up a song or got something wrong is over.

It doesn’t really happen all the time.

It isn’t really the only thing that anyone will ever remember you for.

It’s history. And like everything else in the past it will be forgotten.

Time to face the only thing that matters. Today.

Send In The Clowns

My wife once found herself having to hold back floods of laughter at a funeral. Because, of course, it is considered culturally inappropriate and insensitive to do such a thing.

But is it really? Laughter is said by psychologists to be a primal and helpful solution for dealing with fear. It helps us gain that wee bit of mental equilibrium when things are getting to be just a bit too much. It enables us to stay the right side of sane.

Perhaps, when everything is falling apart, when it’s all getting to be a little bit too serious, there should be moments when, instead of the politicians, the fixers, the priests and the counsellors, we send in the clowns.

I

Decelerating

I’m training my musical ear.

Regular readers know I’m a fan of our feathered friends. And I’ve sometimes referred to their songs.

Here in the Netherlands, each morning I’m taking a regular walk in some woods by a lake right next to where we stay. It’s springtime and the birds are in full song. But, truth be told, my knowledge of their songs is very limited. I’m still a beginner.

So I’m taking my time as I walk, stopping regularly, and trying to pick out the different tunes and connect them to their singers. It’s a very slow process. Almost everything I do is a slow process at the moment.

Learning to slow down is a slow process.

But I happen to think that what I and the whole world need right now, more perhaps than anything else, is a reclaimed and restored inner decelerator.

Getting everything fast, doesn’t seem to be doing us much good.

Fluency

I’m in the Netherlands speaking mainly Dutch, a language at which I have worked very hard to become fluent in.

But I’m not fluent. Not by a long stretch.

That is, I’m not fluent if I measure fluency based on my comfort levels in English.

Then again, my comfort levels in English won’t allow me to say exactly what I’m wanting to say, in a blog like this, for instance, without batting words back and forth until they start to feel like something that works. And , even then, I often have to settle for: “in the ballpark”.

If I measure my ability in English in that way, I’m not fluent in my mother tongue either.

Which begs the question - will we ever get there?

And the answer as always is that we better make damn sure to enjoy the journey. Because the destination we think we’re heading for, might actually be unreachable.

Do The Numbers Matter?

I often say they don’t. But am I just kidding myself?

Well, sometimes I’m trying to kid myself.  By using words to develop a state of mind in which the numbers (the digits that give us a clue as to how many people are paying attention to whatever it is we are doing) don’t affect my emotional state.

Probably the more accurate reality is that the numbers shouldn’t matter: even if they are a sign that we are doing something right, they aren’t the only sign, and they can be misleading.

But sometimes it feels like they do.

Great. I hope that’s cleared that up. 

It’s Not Personal

I’m interested in a lot of things but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to sign up.

Just like everybody else.

Like everybody else, I dip and dive into stuff, as my curiosity leads.
And just like everybody else, I commit to something if I’m really hooked. Even then, I often un-commit at a later date.

We all do. And if we’re putting anything Out There, people will do it to us.

It’s not personal.

Meteorological Fortune Tellers

Predicting the future? Try telling a weather forecaster that it ain’t possible. They keep coming back for more. And we keep coming back to them.

Please tell me it’s going to be nice weather on the hols. And if not, please tell me that it’s even worse back home.

So many variables to be accounted for though. But modern computer technology, centuries of accumulated knowledge, and the odd glance out of the window seems to do the job. Mostly those Meteorological Fortune Tellers are in the ballpark.

Of course the weather is what it is: we can’t intentionally change it. Well, not yet anyway. And for most of our needs, holiday makers, songwriters and the rest, it doesn’t really matter a whole lot, in the wider scheme of things.

Different for a farmer. Potential life and death for a fisherman. And for a refugee.

For them, imagining a better future isn’t enough. A bit more certainty would really help.

And as I sit here looking out the window at the rain clouds, in our little holiday cabin in the Netherlands, I can let that perspective change my own particular outlook.

A Better Direction

I’ve noticed, throughout my life, that there is sometimes a disparity between my words and my actions. This is an uncomfortable thought, because it means that I am sometimes a hypocrite.

Which is a problem that the Strong And Silent type never has.

It’s easy to be true to your word if you don’t use any.

Those of us who use words a lot, do so, oftentimes, to imagine alternative futures. This is a good thing, because we are capable of imagining Better.

But the future can never be predicted with full and knowing accuracy. With truth. It can only ever be aimed at. It can only ever be imagined.

And the only thing that can be completely true and real is the step we are taking right now. In one sense the words, any words, can be disregarded.

We are what we do. Right now.

But we should not give up on words, even if they let us down or turn us into hypocrites. We should carry on using them to imagine ourselves doing it better.

And then perhaps our next step can take us in a better direction.

Until Midnight

If late is better than never, is early better than on time? Or worse?

I’m asking myself these questions because, for the first time since 2012 I didn’t manage to send my monthly Fee Comes Fourth song to my mailing list on the fourth of the month.

This month it was sent early. On the third of April. It was a mistake. Oops! And after a streak of One Hundred and Eighteen, I’ve failed.

Haven’t I?

Well, of course not. We don’t need to be a slave to these little targets we set ourselves. They are only markers, not something that the people who are wanting to hear our songs (or whatever it is that we have promised to do) are particularly bothered about.

Because though the marker I made missed its mark very slightly, nothing has changed about the commitment or even the reliability that I’ve been trying to achieve.

For almost 10 years I have released a song every month. That’s the important part.

And, as I speak, the plan is to continue to do so indefinitely.

Until Midnight, in fact.

Do The Right Thing

I’m on a Stena Sealink ferry crossing.

Apparently it’s possible to run a ferry company without throwing hundreds of people overboard.

And in the music business, it is said that you should be nice on the way up, because you’ll be seeing the same people on the way back down.

But being nice, being kind, to our fellow humans, should be its own justification. Putting people at ease, raising a smile, giving hope, doing what we promised…it shouldn’t need a commercial or self preservation imperative.

We can choose to do the right thing, even if others sadly don’t.

A Little Bit Braver

I was listening to two shows featuring The 80’s and 90’s while travelling last night. We like categorising our music.

Of course when we listen at the time, we don’t always hear the changes occurring. But looking back, we can usually spot the moments when music starts to head in a particular direction. And that is usually because of artists who swam against the flow in some way or other.

Dylan sang about everything and anything, was poetic, obtuse, and controversial, and he didn’t keep it to 3 minutes. Suddenly Love and Sex didn’t have to be the only topics of conversation in pop.

The Sex Pistols and other punk bands brought an “anybody can do this” ethos to music. It wasn’t just for the trained musos and the naturally gifted singers. Attitude, energy and a short, sharp shockwave of sound could sound fantastic.

Just two examples that I’m more familiar with, but you get the drift.

Standing out from the crowd is brave. And it doesn’t often lead to success. But even artists and bands that did their own thing, and didn’t “make it”, often had an influence on other successful artists. Something to take pride from in itself.

Sticking out from the crowd is something we often admire, but also often avoid, when it comes to our own endeavours. I know that’s been true for me.

It doesn’t hurt to try and be a little bit braver sometimes.

Already Wet

Swimming in the rain, coz I’m already wet…

Lots of little raindrops are easier to handle than a sudden dunking. And eventually you’re soaked to the skin.

It’s not such a big deal to dive into the big, scary ocean now.

That’s the theory anyway.

It Won’t Go Smoothly

It’s not the work that you were expecting to be hard, that drains the energy.

It’s the jobs you were expecting to be easy, but which turn out to take twice as long as you thought they would.

Which begs the question…are the pessimists on to something?Should we be lowering our expectations as a matter of course.

I’m not sure. I think we should still aim as high as we think we can possibly reach if everything would run smoothly. Don’t want to sell ourselves short when it comes to the dreaming part.

But at the same time we should give ourselves a break, stop being surprised, factor it in….things won’t run smoothly.

Life teaches us all of that of course, but we aren’t always paying attention. And then we become cynical and stop dreaming. And, or, we let the problems that inevitably occur make us bitter.

Everybody’s got their own path. But we’re all facing a version of that dilemma to work through if we want to have a shot at this.

Easier To Hide

I’ve been reluctant to start thinking about hosting live Homesong gigs again, because of the way Covid has been, and still is, affecting things. Like people’s behaviour. Including mine.

But now I am thinking about it.

Thinking is risky, because it can, and often does, lead to action.

Sometimes it’s easier to hide.

Enjoy It While You Can

The weather has been delightful.

But rumours suggest that it won’t last long.

So, it’s time to make moonshine while the hay is sunny.

I think that’s how the saying goes, isn’t it.