Running Out Of Milk

Running out of enthusiasm. How does that happen?

Is it like Running Out Of Milk?

Where do you go to buy another pint. Or litre?

It can come from outside sources and personal achievements. Little or big successes undoubtedly help. But they aren’t guaranteed. You can’t pop down to your local Success Store for a refill of enthusiasm.

And willing yourself to “keep going” can definitely keep you going sometimes, when things are tough. But, still, keeping going is so much easier when there is a positive emotional engagement with the thing you’re doing. Will power has very definite limits for even the most stoical among us.

I’m getting into the habit, little by little, of choosing to see every new day for what it really is. A new moment, a new beginning. The past is in actual fact history. We are capable of letting it go and not allowing it to affect our future actions. And these aren’t just cliches, whipped up by some Duracel Preacherman.

It’s simply true. We can always start anew. Not just in a tired, grudging fashion. Even if we are tired. Even if we are feeling crap. But that feeling can float away like a cloud. Because it has done before and it can do right now. This, THIS, really is the moment.

Everything has passed, and will pass again.

Nothing matters but now. And what a privilege to have a Now.

ps. I know how all of this can sound. Life has turned me into a “born” sceptic. But I’m still saying it because I’m experiencing it to be true right now, and something that I can do something about. Or not do something about, if I choose. What I mean is…it’s in our hands.

The First Stone

My Muse was indeed musing the last couple of days. A little bit deeper and heavier than usual, possibly. Although, to be fair, “deep and heavy” is my middle name. This particular song might be described as personal therapy. I don’t know. It’s not for everybody and it’s been hanging around for a long while I suspect. Waiting for the right moment to pop out and surprise me. And possibly upset others.

The First Stone
I’m not a believer anymore
I didn’t find what I was looking for
It wasn’t that, that’s for sure

But I like some
Of the words that he said
And some of them, yes some of them
Still live in my head

He who is without sin
Let him throw the first stone
He who is without sin
Let him throw the first stone

I’m not a believer anymore
Who knows what I was looking for
It wasn’t that, that’s for sure

But I like some
Of the things that he did
And some of them,
That they say he did
I wish we all did

Let the children speak
Don’t turn them away
Let the children speak
Don’t turn them away

And I know what they say
I once said it too
You can’t have some of it
You can’t have  some of it
It has to be all of it.

The thing is
All of it, ain’t true
And you know that too
Coz you don’t follow all of it
You don’t believe all of it
Even if you say you do
You pick and choose
What’s true for you

Coz you’re a sinner, like me
That’s Ok. It’s hard to know.
You get things wrong.
We all do.

He who is without sin
Let him throw the first stone
He who is without sin
Let him throw the first stone
He who is without sin
Let him throw 
Let him throw
The first stone

Let The Muse Muse

Carrying on from yesterday, as you do, because yesterday, in my fairly long experience, always seems to precede today, it’s important to note that we aren’t as in control as we’d like to be in the kind of imaginings we have that lead to the very particular creations we individually create.

And I hope you got through that particular sentence without too much collateral damage.

It’s just that, to be creative in a distinctive kind of way, it’s important to let go a little bit.

In other words…

…you gotta Let The Muse Muse.

Out Ya Heid

How To Make Something?

You need some materials of course. Nothing gets made out of thin air…although probably don’t ask a Quantum Scientist about that.

But if what you makes comes out of the imagination where do you start? I suppose you have to imagine something. And there you’re relying on your conscious, unconscious, sub-conscious, unconscious (?) mind to come up with that thing.

It could be anything really. You can’t guarantee what is going to arise in there can you? For me at least, what I’m going to think next is a flipping mystery. Which is exciting when you, um, think about it.

But once it has arisen, whatever it might be, you’ve got to let it out. Or put it out. Squeeze it out? It might be that it needs to develop a little bit more in your brain before you do that. But once it’s “material” it definitely needs to be allowed out at some point. IF we’re going to make something.

That’s the first brave step we need to take - but almost certainly not the last) - get that material Out Ya Heid, and onto …. well, anything that comes to hand really.

And now we’re on our way.

The World’s Your Oyster

A song about Love is, or appears to be, the classic subject for a song.
But if we think about the dawning of the modern pop age, and the commercial possibilities that opened up after the second world war, particularly in the USA, then it might not be so surprising how this has come about.

Music became something that could, in effect, be advertised to everybody on national radio stations. And so it became increasingly POPular, and The Kids had money now, and they wanted it.

And when I say “it”….

….well, the biggest preoccupation (if I can remember that far back) for teens and young adults, is of course romance, sex, finding a partner, dancing with a partner, getting dumped by a partner! In other words, LURRRVVVE (and all of its detrius).

So, although historically songs were also written as celebratory anthems, cultural history, tales of adventure, horror stories, and much, much more, love became the subject that every songwriter who wanted a piece of the action wrote about. It made money. It was sexy baby.

And Love still dominates the airways in 2023. But it is getting harder and harder to write something new on the subject. Writing a love song for people you love who are in love is the main way I manage to go about it these days, without it starting to feel stale and old.

But in reality there are a million subjects to write about. And some of those subjects are as important, or at least almost as important as The Big One. A lot of wide open space out there for anyone who writes songs. Honestly, The World’s Your Oyster. And I don’t mean that in an aphrodisiacal songwriting sense!

Meanwhile, for those who listen, and are a little bored with hearing I Love You over and over and over again….well, why not spread your wings.

ps. Next Fee Comes Fourth song is called Song To The Tick…which, on reflection, although definitely about the subject in its title, is also heavy with, um, innuendo…which, to be fair, qualifies it as a love song. Hmmm. I’m going to call myself a hypocrite before you do.

The Long And Short

The L     o    n     g

And Short of it is that-

Sometimes IT takes forever….

….and sometimes it’s very quick.

You can’t always take your pick.

The Other Way Round

Lou Reed said
Three chords is Jazz
It was a perfect day
When I heard him say that (I play jazz)

Well my fingers make shapes
And the strings make a sound
And my heart skips a beat
Or The Other Way Round

The other way round
The other way round
I’m up a creek without a paddle
Or the other way round

A fella called Hank sang
Three chords and the truth
It was a perfect day
When I heard him sing that (Here’s the truth)

My fingers make shapes
And the strings make a sound
And my heart skips a beat
Or the other way round

The other way round
The other way round
I’m up a creek without a paddle
Or the other way round

The other way round
The other way round
I’m up a creek without a paddle
Or the other way round (To the bridge)

A theory of everything
Everybody’s got one
But I haven’t got one
So here’s a song instead

George Harrison said
My guitar gently weeps
It was a perfect day
When I heard him say that (Cry baby cry)

My fingers make shapes
And the strings make a sound
And my heart skips a beat
Or the other way round

The other way round
The other way round
I’m up a creek without a paddle
Or the other way round

The other way round
The other way round
I’m up a creek without a paddle
A paddle without a creek
I’m a fight without a battle
And my heart skips a beat
My heart skips a beat
My heart skips a beat

Or the other way round

My Way Of Hiding

But what is this “Gunk” I was talking about yesterday?

It’s culture. It’s expectations. It’s the person I don’t like who is guarding the door to the building I need to be in. It is social media. It’s learning a new technique. It’s the organisations, like Facebook or Google or Apple or Take Your Pick, that seem to hold so much of the power in the world we are walking through.

Mostly though, it is in the eye of the beholder. My “Gunk” might be simply be “The Path” to you. And vice versa.

But the “Gunk” produced by culture, and organisations and systems isn’t personal. We just make it so through a particular mindset.

We make a religion of our ideas (which may well be wonderful in themselves) and the ideals they lead to, and it becomes “Idealism”.

And that can prevent us from moving at all and undoubtedly is very personal. It’s my way of avoiding action. A way of hiding from tomorrow. From Walking Through The Gunk.

Too often for comfort, it’s My Way Of Hiding.

Walking Through Gunk

Sometimes you’ve got to walk through gunk to get to the place you want to be.

It’s unavoidable really. We either stay in our perfect world, looking down on everybody else getting to where they need to be by walking through gunk.

Or we get moving, and join in.

In fact Walking Through Gunk might be the only way to make a less gunky world. In other words, we all have to compromise.

It’s messy out there.

Clunk Click

Clunk Click every trip.

You’ll remember that line from the “Drive Safely” government sponsored advert if you’re from the UK and of a certain vintage. And you’ll probably remember it because of the footage of people crashing and being badly hurt in car accidents. It was a successful scare tactic to get us to put our seat belts on in the car, in the days when it was common for people not to do so.

And you’ll also remember it because of the rhyme. In fact, if anything the rhyme is more memorable.

So if you want ‘em to singalong
To your song
Make it rhyme.
It’s not a crime.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is how you turn a blog about rhyming into a car crash.

Only The Route

The Bus Drivers.

They repeat the same journey everyday.

It makes some of them smile, and it makes some of them frown.

And maybe, for some of them, the journey is the same every day.

For some of them it’s Only The Route that is repeated.

Everything’s Just Fine

Here is this month’s Fee Comes Fourth song Everything’s Just Fine. It’s a song of hope and reassurance, I hope, for people who are in the kind of very dark place I found myself as a young adult.

Everything’s Just Fine

Happy Ever After, Never ending laughter
The stories we tell to stay alive
An it’s a funny ending, but it’s still an ending
The one in which they all survive

And it’s alright
Including the fears
Everything I mean
Yeah everything’s just fine
Oh what a sight
This vale of tears
We live it on the edge
And everything’s just fine

You don’t need to find an escape
When the darkness overcomes you
And when we bleed, it’s not all over
Yes we have the power, We have the power
To change our minds
And everything,  everything’s just fine

Happy Ever After,  Never ending laughter
It’s a perfect fairytale, but it’s not life
This rule is not for bending 
There will always be an ending
So don’t let today pass you by

And it’s alright
Including the fears
Everything I mean
Yeah everything’s just fine
Oh what a sight
This vale of tears
We live it on the edge
And everything’s just fine

Happy Ever After,  Never ending laughter
It’s a perfect fairytale, but it’s not life
This rule is not for bending 
There will always be an ending
So don’t let today pass you by

You don’t need to find an escape
When the darkness overcomes you
And when we bleed, it’s not all over
Yes we have the power, We have the power
To change our minds
And everything,  everything’s just fine

Everybody’s Got One

I’ve read a couple of entertainment autobiographies recently. Both about comedians - Rob Brydon and Paul O’Grady - and both very different.

But the one thing both men had in common was the sheer tenacity they demonstrated in pushing through the hurdles they faced. None of these hurdles were insurmountable in themselves. But piled up one after another for years on end, it is remarkable how they managed to achieve such successful careers.

It’s easy, watching from our armchairs, to be sniffy about anybody who “reaches the top”. It all looks so easy after it’s happened. “I could do that”. Well maybe not THAT, but my version of it.

But it’s not at all easy. I know that I couldn’t do what they did. And, of course, I was never meant to.

It’s good to hear the story though. Everybody’s Got One. It helps to make some sense of the outcomes, and to put it all into perspective. Not just for the STARS, but for each of us.

But it’s also useful to look at some versions of what we call “success”, and consider whether it is really THAT kind of success which we are seeking.

Our Lives

There is comfort to be found in knowing that someone has experienced the thing we have experienced, particularly when it comes to any experience of suffering we have had.

Our suffering become less painful when we share the experience.

And if suffering can be shared, then why not ecstasy, joy, peace, and amazement. That too is possible.

We can share all of this through music and song.

Sometimes it is necessary simply to survive, and to help those we love to survive. Those songs are sad. But the tears can open up our lungs again, and help us breathe, when it felt like there was little air left to breathe.

And at the other end of the tunnel, there is joy. Like an oxygen explosion in the brain. A possibility. The universe opening up. And the longing for everybody…and more specifically the people we know and love….to see and experience at least the possibility…of unending possibilities. Songs of celebration. And beyond.

All of this is on the continuum of life. Of Our Lives. This. Now. Whether we see it or not. Often we don’t.

I wish you less suffering and the songs to help you cry.

And I wish you joy. And a rapturous melody.

Do You Believe in Fairies?

I hadn’t walked up Ben Ghuilean for a while, but was tempted up yesterday during some very high winds. The first trip there in January.

There is something spectacular about being blown UP a hill. And then the extra alertness experienced while walking through the hillside woods. Every creak could be a toppling tree.

I’ve never seen a tree fall though. Just a branch, once, not too far away. They do make a sound when we’re there to hear them.

And the sound they make when nobody is there, is simply down to our imaginations. If it happens inside our heads, then it definitely happened .

So, Do You Believe In Fairies?

Art

Art, of course, doesn’t arrive on demand.

Maybe sometimes it will batter its way into our consciousness, shouting through the noise and the busyness, and getting us to pay attention. But mostly that won’t happen.

Mostly we have to sit and to wait and to watch.

In humility. Underneath a tree. In a quiet place.

Or we simply need to find a way to turn off the noise inside our heads.

It’s a respect thing. And it’s also a privilege. The privilege of being given the opportunity to see the same old, same old…in a new way.

Art is, or should be, for everybody. We all need it anyway.

Forest Of Songs

A friend, Cecily Pearce, has started a songwriting challenge called Forest Of Songs. Those involved are writing a song a week for the next 10 weeks, with the idea of getting sponsorship towards planting a tree for every song that is written. I’ve jumped on board at the last minute, and haven’t got anything sorted yet for sponsorship. But it’s a lovely idea, brings some beautiful people together across bandwidth and time, and gets some brand new songs written. What could be better? Not very much I say!

Here’s the lyric and early video link (not a public one) to the first of my offerings. The idea for this song was as an introduction at a gig where nobody knows me.

Let me introduce myself to you
There is not just one of me
But two, or three, or four
Like you I do not like to be
Kept in a box
On the mantelpiece
Brought out sometimes 
For light relief
Or to do my job
Or to make the tea

There’s more to me than that
I’ve got more than that one flat cap
It’s true I do
Like being on my own
But hey, you got a party
In your home
Well please invite me do
I’ll be there
If I’m in the mood
Yeah yeah yeah

Let me introduce myself to you
I am usually known as Fee
Or Dave,  or David Fee 
Like you I sometimes seem to be
Somebody else
Other than me
A quaver short of
A melody
And maybe
That’s what’s troubling me

There’s more to me than that
I’ve got more than that one flat cap
It’s true I do
Like being on my own
But hey, you got a party
In your home
Well please invite me do
I’ll be there
If I’m in the mood
Yeah yeah yeah

So let me entertain you
With a song
I hope I do that                  
At least once and

Make you la -a a augh             
Maybe       cry y y y
Dre e e e eam
And wonder why 
That you feel the way you feel
And you do the things you do
Ooh ooh ooh

But there’s more to you than that
You don’t need me to tell you that
It’s true you do
Like singing on your own
But hey when there’s a party
In a home
We know that you’ll be there
If you’re in the mood
Yeah yeah yeah

In A State Of Flux

Apparently our skin replaces itself every 27 days.

And our opinions can change even quicker. Therefore it is inevitable that we contradict ourselves at times. Because there is every likelihood that we aren’t the same person we were the first time round we blurted out THAT opinion.

Nothing wrong with changing our minds.We’re all In A State Of Flux. And if anything is certain, it is that very thing. The solid ground we seek in our understanding and in our day to day lives is an illusion.

But like the surfer, we can ride the changing waves, as if none of that mattered.

That’s what we are already doing in fact.

Maybe we should be congratulating each other more often.

My Best Interest

Someone gave me some good news about their life yesterday.

It made me happy because I knew how much that news meant to them. I knew the work they had put in to get that good news. And I want the best for them.

I was also happy to feel that way. If you happen to be like I have been for much of my life, and I hope that in this sense you are not, I have often been more likely to be discouraged by someone else’s successes.

”Why them, not me?”. “When will THAT happen for me?”. Blah, blah, blah.

It’s a very ego-centric and sad point of view. It’s self defeating. It’s shallow. And it’s tight and withholding. I’m glad to be rid of it (most of the time at least).

The truth is that your happiness has value in itself, and if I’m happy for you, it has double the value.

Your happiness really is in My Best Interest.

And That’s Ok

These phrases have turned up in couple of my recent songs -

”It’s alright”, “that’s ok”, “is it alright?”, “is it ok?”.

They seem to be insubstantial expressions, and they are not very poetic, but they speak about reassurance. The offering of it. The seeking of it.

Like a parent to a child. Or a child to a parent.

Often, and unavoidably, the songs, the music and lyrics we write, reflect the workings of the writer’s inner life. And as the writer of the words above it’s clear to me that I’m both the parent and the child in these lyrics.

I’m both offering myself and seeking reassurance.

And this is the truth of life. We learn it as we go. It is full of uncertainties. And the path is not always clear. That is the adventure we are on. And in the midst of adventure we all need reassurance along the way.

And That’s Ok.