Potatoman
A mash up.
Potatoman is an early song, that has stayed the course, somehow attracted attention, been shouted out as a nickname to me in the street by strangers, and is generally one with which I have a lot of affinity.
I still haven’t recorded a version that captures it for me yet though. It feels like a band song, that never the less has always worked best until now, I think, when I’ve bashed it out all lonesome…just me and my acoustic geetar
If you’ve not heard it before there are no potatoes in the song. Sorry to disappoint. The chorus got misheard once at my very first gig, and the misheard title stuck.
But for the record, I do like potatoes.
Discover Fee Praying
Forty Two
Do the maths!
In 2007 I was Forty Two. That was about three years after I’d stopped smoking, so the old lungs were still in recovery mode no doubt. I’ve just looked through my photos to get a picture of what was happening back then -
- that year we got a visit in Campbeltown from Australia by a wonderful man called Mikel Azure who I had got to know online, in the early days when the idea of developing friendships via that method was quite unusual. (We are still in touch via that horrific Facebook thing, which I have actually come to hate using these days, coz its famous Algorithms don’t know shit about shit).
And coming back to the present? Well, as I recently reported, one of my foster sons has also been visited this year by his girlfriend in America. That relationship developed online too, and is still going strong. He’s planning to visit her next year.
Plus ca change!
Everything does look very different today of course. The changes that had begun back even before the early Noughties, have sped up exponentially, and are now feeding with complete abandon off our willing supplied online data steroids. All part of a completely unplanned plan to take us to some unknown, and possibly unwelcome, destination. It’s gonna be a ride folks.
In the meantime I’m reading a book (The Way Home by Mark Boyle) about a fella in Ireland who eschewed every single form of modern technology (including electricity) in a life experiment that is far from the mere grand gesture of “Look at me being different!” Rather, it’s a very genuine and impressive examination of our modern world through the lens of a life fully lived, as though the modern world, to as large degree as can be imagined, didn’t exist. In the process he discovers physical community in a place where physical community is just about hanging on. He makes and grows everything by hand. He lives by the sun rather than a clock. And he writes the book with a good old fashioned pencil and paper, posting (snail posting!) the results to his editor.
Of course even that world is effected by modern life. His letters travel by the miracle of combustible engine for instance. But it’s a refreshing and challenging read which I recommend as a way of at least getting a clearer perspective, a little bit above and beyond the confusion which seems to be affecting us all to a lesser or greater degree.
Of course the answers to life, and how we should live it, and if we can carry on living it, are multiple and complex. There is no final answer to everything.
Well…apart from the Forty Two one, announced a few years back by Deep Thought, with a little help from Douglas Adams, after seven and a half million years of, um, deep thought.
Anyway, excuse me, I’m off to destroy the printing presses, throw my Laptop into hell fire, and stand bravely before the throne of Ai to announce my resignation from the land of the barely living.
Ach, no I’m not. This is the only stab at life we get, and I’m going to eke out every last morsel of preciousness I can from the privilege, albeit very haphazardly and imperfectly.
Life was a very messy process seventeen years ago, and nothing has really changed.
Plus ca change! Je ne regrette rien!
Discover Fee Singing By Numbers
Shine On You
And you.
You know how it is. It’s all me, me, me on this blog. Understandably, to an extent, as there is a Me writing it.
But how are you doing?
Are you feeling good - suffering - experiencing difficult problems - cruising along - feeling doubt - struggling with a relationship - looking forward to something - wishing you could be somewhere else - hoping for an answer - bored - in pain - tired - content?
Maybe all of the above, at various times.
Well, I hope with all my heart, that today, or someday soon, the sun (which in this instance is a metaphor for lots of good things like peace of mind, joy, contentment, satisfaction, elation, health, and freedom) will Shine On You.
Thank you very much for taking time out of your day, whether just today or on a regular basis, for paying attention to these words I mess around with.
Discover Fee Going Heavy On The Reverb
Suspicious
Very.
There’s a song called Art Lover that Ray Davies of The Kinks wrote back in the day. It’s a beautiful, sad little song, and it initially got banned by the Beeb.
Reason being it sounded, well, Suspicious. The lyric seems to be speaking about a predatory man watching young girls in a park. But in fact it was a song about divorced fathers who didn’t have access to their children and were simply experiencing, in the presence of other children, the memories of something that had been taken from them. Ray Davies intentionally kept the lyric ambiguous, even provocative, not revealing the true meaning, and leaving the song open to the controversy it caused.
I loved the Kinks and I loved that song. Look it up and give it a listen.
I think I might have had that one in mind when I wrote todays blog title tune.
Because things are often not how they seem. We get wrong signals and impressions all the time. These days we are bombarded, if we choose to be, with a vast multitude of images and stories about everyone and everything. Many of them are, at the very least, misleading. Sadly we often act on those first impressions. It’s human nature.
But getting to know anybody or anything takes time. There are no shortcuts.
Discover Fee In The Dark After Midnight
Sauly
A better story.
I wrote Sauly for my oldest grandson when he was two.
Part of the chorus lyric goes:
”Sauly, Sauly, Sauly you can tell a better story than we did
You should dream big, yeah”.
I saw Saul, now nine, at the weekend, and I can tell you that he is a very smart and delightful young man, very curious about the world, caring, active and engaging. I’m a proud Opa.
I’m also glad to report that the song of his name is on his Spotify playlist. Along with a very interesting and eclectic selection of music.
He also seems to be paying heed to the lyric of the song, and dreaming big.
For instance, he was telling me enthusiastically about his plans to be the 13th man to walk on the moon. Or, alternatively, the first one to walk upon Mars. Although, he did have a few reservations about the latter idea, on the understandable grounds that apparently it would take 18 months to get there.
Well, plenty of time to listen to all my tunes anyway, I hope. And read a few books too.
It would be great if I could be around to see it all happen. Either way, I hope his dreams, whether these or fresh ones, all come true.
He’s already making mine a reality
Discover Fee Getting Soulful About Saul
Fog
Nothing there.
Every songwriter has a different angle from which they write. I’ve always been a very emotional person, and I think my angle has often been to capture the sense of that emotion, whatever it might be. When, as has been the case for a lot of my songwriting career, the emotions are of a darker nature then that tends to find its way into the songs.
Looking back through the years, there is a fair bit of melancholy in the music and lyrics I made, even though I often attempted to break out of that mould. But people identify with songs of all shapes and sizes, and the darker songs can often help folk who are experiencing that darkness to feel less alone.
Fog is a song that captures a particular kind of emotion. That moment on the wrong side of despair in everything. Yourself and the world. But there is nothing inside you to feel anything anymore. I’m proud of this song because it does capture that. And the recording is one of my favourites from my whole archive.
These days I’m less bound up in the maelstrom of emotional flood tides. It’s a lot happier place to be. But I still haven’t written the kind of song that encapsulates a pure sense of joy. A song that is the opposite of Fog. Maybe I haven’t got that kind of song in me. At least yet. But I hope to write it one day.
Discover Fuh-fuh-fuh- Fee
It’s A Beautiful Game
Well, it could be.
It’s A Beautiful Game.
And because it’s a game, we have the freedom to enjoy it. To eke out all the possibilities it presents without fear of reprisal. To a certain extent we get to choose who we play with. And though in some ways we get what we’re given, we also get to make our own rules. Lots of freedom. And a fair degree of responsibility.
I like the phrase “first do no harm” that originates from ancient Greek medical practises. It strikes me as a useful first rule to apply to life. Our own life, the lives of others, and the life of the planet we live on.
But because there is no external rule giver (even the rules that are allegedly provided by a God seem to have the very clear stamp of human interference) people can choose to do harm. Many do. We all do at some point or other.
So maybe it’s truer to say that it could be a beautiful game. For everyone.
Perhaps the aim of the game might be to create that beauty.
Discover Fee Going Out In The Rain
Jack Sorrow
Meets Death.
I made the character of Jack Sorrow up.
Death already existed.
That’s how creativity works. Taking existing materials, adding invented ideas, and mixing things up to make something new. In this case a song about accepting our limitations. Specifically our physical finitude.
I’m sorry to have to break that to you.
ps. I completely forgot in yesterdays blog that I had anglicised the spelling of some of the dutch words. This will mean that, if you tried, you would have struggled with the translation thing. The correct spelling is “Geen koe die koken kan”
Kan Koo Di Koken Kan
Puzzled? You will be.
WTF!!!! I hear you think.
”Kane Koo Di Koken Kan”?????
Don’t panic. It was just a bit of song writing fun I had a few years ago with a phrase that popped up in a Dutch lesson.
But you want to know what it means now, don’t you? Well that’s what your AI chat bot is for! Or the Google search engine if you’re old school. Mwaahah.
Don’t build your hopes up too much though. It won’t change your life. But knowledge is power, they say. So … you probably should find out.
Go on. Make my day. Random searches can take you anywhere or nowhere. But everywhere is somewhere.
ps. S’cuse me. I’m giggling to myself. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy writing complete nonsense occasionally.
pps. “Not so occasionally” I hear you whisper
ppps. The answer below please. Extra points for making a limerick out of the translation.
Bag For Life
A final request.
”They don’t make them like that anymore” said the actress to the bishop.
And we know exactly what she means. Built To Last!
Our modern version of the concept? Allow me to introduce the Bag For Life. Yes, you too sir can carry all your precious, disposable junk, home from the shops in a carrier bag that will possibly outlast its contents.
I say ”Possibly”. Because as well as throwing crap away, we seem to have developed the habit of stretching the meaning of some words. In this care the words “for life”. Yes, I’ve had to send the odd “bag for life” to baggy heaven. With the bishops blessing of course. You may have had to do the same.
Everything comes to an end. But it would be nice not to rush there so fast.
The Moon Will Be Big Tonight
Somewhere.
It appears.
It disappears.
It’s always there.
It stays the same.
It changes shape.
It changes size.
It changes tides.
It shines.
It reflects.
It obscures.
It is lifeless.
It has been visited by life.
It is a god.
It is made of cheese.
The cow jumped over it.
Yes, The Moon Will Be Big Tonight.
Somewhere. And depending upon the viewers perception.
Discover Fee Sitting On A Balcony
Change
Brings something new to the table.
“Every day’s a good day to be alive”.
That’s a very different line to:
”Every day feels like a good day to be alive”.
The feelings Change. And they always will. As do many other aspects of life.
But the good is always there to be found. It’s in the next breath we breathe.
Gravity Is Calling
...faster than we can run.
I’m imagining things being different. Of course I am. I’m a human.
”What if I lived in this house and not that one?” “If only the shower was a little bit warmer it would be perfect”. “If I’d done that they would have understood me”. “The weather should be better this afternoon”…etc.
Honestly, pretty much everything that is going on in my thought life … that incessant chatter that we have with ourselves in our heads, even though we are in fact “ourselves” and should really know it all already …. is about things changing.
And, when those imagined changes happen, I’ll be happy, right?
?
Well it’s true Gravity Is Calling, and things will inevitably change. Sometimes in ways I desire but sometimes, perhaps often … not. Sometimes because of things I do, but mostly … not.
And so, it turns out, that at all times my best option appears to be to let the noisy voices in my head drift by, and to accept the messy imperfectness of now.
Aren’t I The Lucky One
An appropriate song.
On days when everything goes wrong, the song to sing is…Aren’t I The Lucky One. Serendipity brought this tune to the top just now.
Trapped nerves, complicated financial transactions, digital “issues”, flat car batteries. All occurred today in a far flung land … technically the “Nether”lands … arriving along with todays title on my Fee Comes Fourth archival meander.
And you know it’s true. I am lucky. You’ve heard me say that a few times now, in different words. But the moment when it is most important to pull that notion out the bag is when the shit hits the fan.
Not through gritted teeth, or with overwrought positivism.
Just the simple truth … I have so much to be thankful for. And I am.
Discover Fee Singing A Love Song He Wrote About Being Lucky, For Somebody Else
Wounded Soldier
No obvious signs.
It’s impossible to really know what somebody else has been through. This song lyric was about the very real traumas that can happen inside somebodies head, for which there is no obvious or known reason. Thankfully mental health issues are a lot more talked about these days. And hopefully that openness leads to more understanding and empathy.
Wounded Soldier
Well you’ve never dodged a bullet in Bagdad baby
You’ve never hidden, cold, in the rain
You couldn’t even shoot a rabbit in the dunes
And you cry when you’re in pain
You reach for your inhaler when you catch the bus
And hold it like a live grenade
They won’t ever pin a medal on your uniform
And all your dreams will fade
See the lamp light shining through the curtain gap
Can’t sleep and you’re getting older
No you’ve never been carried off the battlefield
But you’re a wounded soldier
Friend of mine, Friend of mine
The Shells are falling now
Rest your soul
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
It's a bitter kind of battle when the world's gone crazy
And you're the only one who's sane
The medicine they sell, is sending you to hell
On a flat line runaway train
You wrestle with your troubles like a heretic saint
Shouting out The Truth is a Lie
No we can’t see the wars that you're fighting here
The bleeding inside
See the lamp light shining through the curtain gap
Can’t sleep and you’re getting older
No you’ve never been carried off the battlefield
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
Friend of mine, Friend of mine
The Shells are falling now
Rest your soul
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
Dadada dadada dadadada
The sun sets over your hilltop target
You’ve been trying to get there forever
But you’re tripping through the brambles and the dirty dishes
Just holding it together
There’s a reason for the battle but you sometimes forget
And your body's getting colder
You’re a stranger to the winning line
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
Friend of mine, Friend of mine
The Shells are falling now
Rest your soul
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
Friend of mine, friend of mine
I’ll be here when the nights get colder
Rest your soul
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
God rest your soul
Coz you’re a wounded soldier
When I Come Back To Earth
A Haiku
A Slightly More Plausible Teenage Haiku Excuse Than The Usual Ones
“Visiting Pluto
But When I Come Back To Earth
I’ll tidy my room”
I’m A Dinosaur
Extinction rebellion.
This month’s release (link at the bottom) is the shortest song I’ve ever written. It’s a tongue in cheek response to the times when my songs didn’t cut it for the pub audiences who just wanted me to “play something I know”. I’m not knocking the sentiment at all.
But hey, it’s all grist to the mill :)
I’m A Dinosaur
I don’t want to hear
A new song anymore
Play those songs of yesteryear
The songs that I adore
Put ‘em on a loop
Play em back to back
Sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties
Let me hear those super tracks
Coz I like living in the past
Life was better then
I don’t want to be here
Anymore
Coz I’m a dinosaur
We’re All Doomed
In the words of the prophet.
We’re All Doomed. I mean everything will keep going wrong. Just like it always has done. Forever and ever. Everything is coming to an end!!!! Sooner or later. It’s all falling apart. We’re gonna die someday. Oh, my God!!!! We can’t change very much at all. What the hell are we gonna do?
Meanwhile, it’s quite a pleasant day out there, I’ve got most of my faculties, I’m not short of food (food is bloody brilliant, isn’t it?), I have friends who appear to enjoy my company at least some of the time, a lovely family, etc, etc…
It’s really not a bad deal, this being doomed malarkey.
Discover Fee Giving Davey Jones A Shout Out
Tulips
For the one I love.
This song title comes up just as I’m away from my lovely Ineke for a week.
Tulips is a mushy love song I wrote for her, inspired of course by her Dutch origins. That’s all you need to know really. (If you listen don’t be confused by the use of her birth name Catherina, which I don’t sing correctly anyway … I actually prefer my original lyric anyway which is similar to the one written below the song). I’ve written better songs for her since to be honest. Ok that’s the excuses out the way.
Love is lots of things. The most important ones don’t sound particularly romantic - commitment, loyalty, dedication, patience, accountability.
But you’ve still got to add a bit of mush sometimes. Mush oils the wheel of love. Give her some flowers now and then. Give HIM some flowers now and then.
Won’t find many tulips around now. I got the best one anyway :)
But other blossoms are available.
Everything I Ever Wanted
It's not taken for granted.
The song “Everything I Ever Wanted” puts a big smile on my face. You’re allowed to say that about your own songs. It’s OK.
The reason is mainly because of an accompanying video, which I will link to below, and you may well have already seen if you’ve ever been on my website or my Youtube channel. My daughter-in-law, Susanna, put it together a few years ago, and it features lots of the family members I love. Most of my boys, my wife, some of the grand weans.
Hence the smile.
They’re all doing OK. Including later additions to the family. And of course by that I mean, that they’re experiencing life, with all it’s up and downs. But without too much undue suffering.
It’s not a lot to ask on the surface. But we know that things could be different. Our present “OK” is somebody else’s heaven on earth.
So not taking any of that for granted is top of my to do list most days.
Including today.
Discover Fee Being Lucky