Wanna Be

If you happen to be a mainly unheard of Singer/Songwriter have you ever done that thing when you imagine playing live at T-In The Park, or, and this is definitely a lot sadder, being interviewed by Graham Norton on TV?

It’s because of things like this, and much worse, that most people are glad that private thoughts remain private. They reveal far too much about our insecurities, our impurities and our hang ups.

I, of course, am as perfect in my thought life as in my real life, and I only speak about this subject in purely hypothetical terms.

But I think it is good to be clear about who we Wannabe. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to become attached to some lazy trope of a dream that probably wouldn’t suit us in the least, or make us happy, even if it did materialise.

Glad we’ve got that, zigga zig ah, cleared up.

Eilish

I’m really out of touch with most modern music, much preferring to play and write than to listen these days. Unless it’s live or someone I know personally. But one huge mainstream artist that has caught my attention is Billie Eilish who last night, at the grand old age of 20, headlined the Pyramid Stage of Glastonbury.

Hats off to her (and her brother who is very much her backing band and producer) for making songs that sound fresh but still fairly timeless, and manage to deal with the usual themes of a young life in such a compelling way. She seems to have her head on straight, so hopefully can handle the high levels of attention and fan worship without it messing her life up.

If you haven’t listened here’s Happier Than Ever….just a young girl’s break up song, but a damn good one. That’s the way to get it off your chest.

Murderous Instincts

Firstly, you need to know that we’ve got a cat, because one of our children wanted one. But this cat has hunting instincts and we know that she has been very active during springtime when the birds are breeding. I love birds, so….Grrrrrr! Read through to the end to discover why this is at all relevant to anything….

I’m contemplating a slightly different way of holding Homesongs when I host them after our gig in September. It might suit me better.

At the moment I’m inviting or being contacted by artists who then travel to Campbeltown to perform. I, as the host, then become the local promoter, because I live here and the artists usually don’t.

But one feature of our Homesongs that I have always enjoyed is the time when those members of the musical members of the audience perform a song or two. And we’ve sometimes had whole gigs like that.

I’m thinking about having a regular date when I host a Homesong, the last Friday in the month for instance, in which we have a kind of open mic for local artists in the house for anyone who wants to come. And then IF an artist from further away wants to play, they can get in touch and the evening of their visit could be split into two halves: the open mic, followed by a break, followed by a set from the visiting artist.

The point being that the event would be a regular happening anyway, and there wouldn’t be the stress that can arise for a host: will there be an audience for this artist who I’ve invited?

That’s not to say that the other way doesn’t work. It has and does, and might suit other Homesong hosts. But something like I’ve described is even more grass roots, and more in the spirit of the old style ceilidhs.

It’s all a work in progress. And the truth is that there is always, as they say, more than one way to kill a cat. Ahem.

ps. Obviously, just kidding. But my apologies to cat loving readers (Rosie!:-)

Who Is The Competition?

We can’t avoid competition or competitions. It’s a part of who we are as humans. But the position we come in the race is only a tiny part of the story.

And only we know the whole story. Because being the last one to cross the line can be a victory for some of us. Just the act of crossing the line. And first place can be a hollow feeling if it was a stroll in the park, and we didn’t do our best.

We are all constantly in situations where it appear to be a competition with others. And sometimes it actually is that. But the most important competition is the one with ourselves, and it’s a blessed relief when we manage to live that truth.

In all of this it’s good to be kind to each other and to ourselves. Boasting isn’t a good look.

Ahem….

NB. All the above was simply an excuse to tell you…it would be remiss of me not to…that I came second yesterday in the parents flat race at the local sports day, at the grand old age of 57!

And, yes, there were more than 2 people in the race. Don’t be rude!

Mind Blowing

Yesterday I saw a swallow on the beach, and a sandpiper on the street. Both of them in different places from which I would usually expect to see them.

Birds are creatures of instinct, and on this occasion their instincts took them somewhere new. Or more likely it wasn’t new for them, but somewhere they were in the habit of occasionally finding food or nesting material before I ever saw them doing it.

Later I was in the chippy, and the fella behind the counter said “I didn’t know you were a singer!” He’d seen me in a charity video recording from the Christmas before last, probably on Facebook.

I’m hardly ever found singing covers. And he didn’t even know that I sang.

Even on an ordinary day there are so many new things to be discovered and attempted. So many perspectives that can change.

Sometimes it blows your mind. Have a great summer.

Slowing Down

I find with some things that feel important to me, like learning a language, getting good at guitar, or trying to build a Homesong network, that the destination can feel a long way off.

The tendency is to speed up.

At which point it is vital to slow down.

Waiting For The Magic To Happen

Expect the unexpected.

When we can’t be completely sure what a particular singer or comedian or actor is going to do…well that is a part of the entertainment isn’t it? In fact, I would argue that there should always be that element of uncertainty and surprise in any form of art. Otherwise it’s not really art. It’s just paint by numbers.

Playing the “hits” by rote might suit some performers and some audiences. And even that will have a certain element of uncertainty.

But when the unexpected is expected, when it’s an intended part of the creation, there is alway an extra level of electric excitement in the air.

We are waiting, on tenterhooks, for the magic to happen.

Not Giving Up

How many times have you felt like giving up?

For me the number must reach the thousands. I regularly find myself running out (temporarily) of the emotional and mental energy to continue.

And then I continue. Like you do, if you’re reading this.

It sometimes looks like everybody else manages just fine, and that we’re the only ones who experience those moments.

Which is why they say that it is good to talk about it.

Which it is.

Well done to all of us, not just for being here and managing to make the best of it, but for actually creating objects and moments of wonderful, awe inspiring beauty, through our actions and our art.

We could do better, but we don’t do half as badly as our consciences sometimes try to tell us.

Walking Up That Hill

It’s Saturday morning, and I’m just about to walk up that hill with my wife. Unlike Kate Bush we’re not planning to run.

Then back for a bacon and egg roll, and a coffee.

It’s a nice habit. And trying to decide whether to do something or not, takes far more energy and time than just doing it, I find.

Once the habit is decided and established (that can still take a lot of energy) I feel a lot freer.

Looking After Yourself

Yesterday I saw a moving video from a Youtuber I follow. Nearly a year ago he had quit his day job to work on his dream job… full time on the youtube channel that he’d created, talking about camping in the wilds and all things related.

But it hadn’t quite worked out, even though it paid him a wage. He had suffered some mental health issues as he had allowed himself to get sucked down the rabbit hole of social media, and the Chasing The Numbers game.
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I believe he did the right thing by talking about it openly and honestly in the video I watched. And he planned to continue with his channel, but to learn from his mistakes.

But it made me think, once again, that there is a lot to be said for keeping our creative outlets as a hobby. At the very least any attempt to make the leap and turn our favourite pastimes into a profession should not be taken lightly.

These aren’t easy decisions to be made for creative people, and it is an issue that can keep cropping up when we start measuring our “success” in terms of money and recognition.

We need outlets for our art that don’t make those two things the main priority.

Another Ticked Off The List

Well, I don’t like to promise something, as I did yesterday, and then not to do it. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy the process of songwriting. Has to be said that I started off writing one thing. And then it naturally became a lot more euphemistic. So I ran with that. This one already feels like a keeper. I’ve got a bouncing tune too, but for now, here’s the lyric of…

My Song To The Tick

You sit on a blade of grass 
Waiting for the moment
When I walk  right past
My legs are the attraction
And you reach out and grasp
A little interaction
With my hairy shins
Oh where have you been
It’s always me you pick
This is my song to the tick
My song to the tick

And now you wander round
Trying to get a feel of me
Coz when you’ve found
That little place above my knee
Inside my thigh
Oh everyone can see
You’re such a patient thing
And where have you been
It’s always me you pick
This is my song to the tick
My song to the tick

Can anybody save me
From my misery?
It’s always me she picks
Always me she picks
Hear my song to the tick
Song to the tick

Now I know you’re after my blood
You’re waiting for the moment
And I’d stop you if I could
But I’m happily oblivious
You’re up to know good
It should be bloody obvious
On my inner thigh
Oh why, why, why
It’s always me you pick
My song to the tick
My song to the tick

Can’t anybody save me
From my misery?
It’s always me she picks
Always me she picks
Hear my song to the tick
Song to the tick

Now the deed is done
She’s buried in my groin
And there’s nowhere I can run
I begin to moan
When it begins to itch
Coz she has found her home
Oh what a……itch
Please make it quick
Why always me you pick?
This is my song to the tick
My song to the tick

And can  anybody save me
From my misery?
It’s always me she picks
Always me she picks
Can’t  anybody save me
From my misery
It’s always me she picks
Always me she picks

Hear my song to the tick
My song to the tick
My song to the tick
My song to the tick
My song to the tick

Song To The Tick?

Why do Ticks exist? It’s a question that I often ask myself at this time of year. They are small wee buggers, and hard to find on your body after a walk. I inevitably don’t find ‘em all, and I get bites, which can lead to Lymes Disease, a potentially very serious illness. I did get it the one time, but fortunately it was caught early enough for a course of antibiotics to see it off.

There are all sorts of animals that bring misery to others.

In fact we manage it well enough ourselves a lot of the time.

And there isn’t an answer to the “Why?” question really, except “That’s Life”. It brings joy and wonder. It brings challenges and irritations.

And it’s probably time for a Song To The Tick.

I’m up for the challenge. I think.

Off My Chest

Warning: This one is a “getting some things off my chest” blog.

In hosting music gigs in my own home and then trying to spread the idea of other people doing likewise I have somehow, perhaps inevitably, persuaded other folk to see me as a music “Promoter”.

Music Promoter is a very specific and important role, which helps to keep the whole touring phenomenon up and running. Some people do it for love and some for money. It basically involves making sure that musicians and audience find each other. Although a lot of musicians end up doing that work themselves these days.

Because I have been trying to establish local networks of Home gigs I have undoubtedly taken on this kind of role locally. My hope all along, was that others would see it happening, and run with the idea themselves. I’m not really a manager or organiser. But I’ve certainly had to do that sort of work.

The hope behind the hope though, was that I would find a way of being able to tour and play my own songs at this imagined wider network of Homesong venues. I wanted to find and inspire the people who really did love the idea of “promoting” a small gig in their homes. I was very up for the possibility of doing myself out of a job in that respect.

Though I’m proud of what has been built, I’m certainly still in the job. And the truth is I feel a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place right now in terms of a way forward. If I carry on taking and embracing opportunities to continue being a “promoter” here in Kintyre I would be able to continue promoting the idea of Homesong….but then the creativity and drive to write and create my own music inevitably suffers.

I’m writing this because another, potentially significant, request for acting as local Promoter has come up, at a time when, in my head, I was actually settled upon giving my own music some more time and energy. In that scenario, I would occasionally still host gigs in my own home, without making it a stick to beat myself with. I would enjoy that. But I also thought I could try to find Home gigs to play at myself, and spread the message in that way.

A Homesong friend, Norman Lamont, asked me in a recent conversation which was more important to me…my own music or the Homesong vision.

I couldn’t really separate them then. And I still can’t.

I like to write and create. I love to write songs and to write about the joy of gigs on a small grass roots level in homes. Increasingly I am enjoying performing and looking for more opportunities to do so. If I’m honest though, I don’t really want to be tied down to being an organiser and promoter.

Inevitably there are no easy answers to any of this. Nothing worth doing ever falls in to place just like that.

It helps to be able to put these words down on paper though.

And maybe a little light will break through soon.

Looking For……..?

Here’s a David Bowie song I’d never heard before.

Looking For Water.

I found the song while I was Looking For Words.

Elusive is not the same as non-existent.

The Journey

What must it feel like to have mastered a skill?

Would you know if you had?

Is it even possible?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. Perhaps nobody does, even though we call some people “masters” because they are clearly much, much better than us at something. Or other.

But do those “masters” really have a sense of mastery? Do they think of themselves as masters?

I suspect that if they have mastered anything it is simply the skill of enjoying, and being fully engaged in, the journey.

Dry The Rain

Yesterday I thought I would dodge the rain showers on the hill. Didn’t take a rain jacket on my walk. Wasn’t worried too much. But it started pouring towards the end of the hill part, and when I got back to the road for the walk home I sheltered under a tree by the pavement for a while, to wait for it to ease off.

Somebody stopped to ask if I wanted a lift into town. I took them up on the offer. And it turned out the fellow who was driving remembered me helping him once, when his car had broken down a few years ago. That’s why he had stopped to offer the lift.

I couldn’t remember giving him help at all. And I don’t believe in some sort of automatic karma that gives certain pay back for acts of kindness.

But it is a reminder that people remember.

Better to be remembered in a positive way, I tend to think. And I’m glad that, on this occasion at least, I was.

Competitively Supportive

There is another Homesong out there on the interweb.

I just thought I would mention it, because it is a really beautifully made website. Nothing at all to do with gigs in homes. It’s all about making nice things for your home. Take a look.

There are also a lot of other Davids out there. It’s amazing how we all usually manage to co-exist without seeing each other as a threat.

Some people would argue that humans are successful because we are successfully competitive. That is part of the story.

But I like to think that the reason that we stand out from every other animal - when we are the best version of ourselves - is that we have learnt to co-operate, support and empathise with others to an incredible degree. At our best we recognise that we’re all in this together.

We stand, or fall, together.

Of course the competitive tendency can also be useful. Perhaps we need to learn to be competitively supportive.

What To Pick?

So many decisions - celluloid, tortex or maybe an exotic material? Shape, profile, thickness, hardness, texture.... it's a wonderful new world of geekdom.

This is the shocking news a friend gave me after my own startling revelation in yesterdays blog that I am starting to learn to play guitar with a pick/plectrum.

Hmm. I didn’t realise what a rabbit hole I had entered. Oh dear. And I try to avoid complex decisions like that.

But what if I only had one pick?

Is that allowed?

What’s the comfortable, practical, economical 5 seat family car of the pick world?

Could you pick for me?

Picking Time

Everything takes time.

Yesterday I picked up a pick. My guitar guru mate, who is a guitar teacher, and also my recording partner, has been banging on about it for a while. I shouldn’t just be able to pick guitar using my present finger style, but I should also be able to use a plectrum.

I was always a bit, meh, about that. Something else to lose. I’m very good at losing stuff. And the time thing. It all takes so much time to learn.

But I heard someone playing something that I liked, and which could only be done with a plectrum. So I’ve decided to learn it. And also surprise my friend, who doesn’t think I listen to anything he says, even though he definitely knows best about these matters.

I hope it doesn’t take too long. So many other things to fit in to the available time. But at least the decision has been made now. I’m committed.

In For A Surprise

Specialise. That’s the word on the street.

When it comes to music it’s very good and helpful to be known for a particular style. It really helps people latch on to your songs if they know what to expect.

I believe this is true, but it is very frustrating for anyone of a creative nature who doesn’t like to get tied down in that way. Or in anyway come to that.

One thing I like about the Homesongs that we’ve held is that mostly people come along NOT knowing what to expect. Unlike most gigs, they don’t attend because they are fans of the artist. They come because it’s a Homesong.

This is quite liberating when you think about it. Every performer gets the chance to creatively win over the audience. They’ve got that opportunity.

And the audience is almost always in for a surprise.